Cashius Vain aka Mr. Moolah
Full Name: Milton “Mr. Moolah” G. Greedman
Aliases: Cashius Vain, The Profit Prophet
Species: Human (Earthling)
Occupation: CEO of MOOLAHCORP International Holdings Unlimited™
Affiliation: Himself (and his ego)
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💼 Personality:
Cashius Vain doesn’t just chase profit — he is profit incarnate.
He radiates charm like an infomercial host and talks as if every conversation is a shareholder meeting. He believes in “capital gains” more than capital letters. His worldview:
> “If it moves, monetize it. If it breathes, brand it. If it questions me — lay it off.”
He never walks — he struts to background elevator jazz that plays automatically wherever he goes. Even during explosions.
Signature Behavior:
Compliments his own reflection, occasionally signing autographs for it.
Fires employees mid-sentence for “cost-cutting efficiency.”
Signs contracts in glitter ink.
Treats the economy like a cartoon physics experiment.
When he laughs:
💸 Golden dollar signs fly from his mouth, then immediately flutter back into his pockets like obedient butterflies.
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✨ Visual Design:
Suit: Shimmering gold, tailored to catch the light even in explosions.
Tie: A holographic stock ticker that updates in real time. When he gets angry, it turns red and beeps like a heart monitor.
Sunglasses: Currency symbols — $ and € lenses — that glow brighter the more unethical he’s being.
Shoes: Glossy loafers with soles made of shredded tax documents.
Hair: Immaculately slicked, impervious to wind, water, and justice.
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💬 Catchphrases:
> “Morals are for nonprofits!”
“Profit is power — and I own both!”
“If it ain’t for sale, I’ll buy it anyway!”
“Time is money — and I own both!”
“Mr. Moolah™ — enriching myself since before the theme song ended!”
“Cashius Vain — the name you can trust… because you already paid me to!”
Primary Villain — recurring antagonist and meta-economic parody.
Mr. Moolah represents the absurd side of capitalism — turning ordinary city life into a ridiculous financial ecosystem he literally controls. His company, MOOLAHCORP, owns:
Every store in the city
All snack machines (which spy on customers)
The “Pulse Crystals” market on the black cosmic exchange.
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